Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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