I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Randomize
