what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
We don't watch enough power rangers
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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