I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
