Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Randomize
