I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
