Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
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