Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Randomize
