i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
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