I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Randomize
