Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I was not drunk enough for that final.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Randomize
