How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
i think i have herpe
just one?
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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