somebody snuck up and got me drunk
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
We left the knife in your bed.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
