actually, I'm a sock model
I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
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