If i come over, it means nothing
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
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