I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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