I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
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