PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
