So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
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