i would punch a child for taco bell
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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