you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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