you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
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