I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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