i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
I just googled if crying burns calories
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
