also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
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