you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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