he puts the penis in happiness.
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
