So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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