How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
