Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
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