pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
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