Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
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He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
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I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
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