I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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