Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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