Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
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