I don't usually arrange sex via text message
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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