if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
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