he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
