turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
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