let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
