I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
