and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
