I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
Reggie can tackle my bush.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Randomize
