I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
Randomize
