I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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