Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
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