If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
