I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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