I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Randomize
