either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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