yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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