Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
