thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
