Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize
