she sounds like chewbacca in bed
you mean i was at the winter classic?
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
True college students do jello shots in the library
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