I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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