just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
