All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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