So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
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