WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
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