guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
