Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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