after a month anything with tits is on the radar
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
Randomize
