My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Randomize
