I'll bet she douches with gravy.
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
