All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
This can only be settled by a dance off.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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